1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage
9. Any cookies consumed from someone elses plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!
10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!
I found this on a recipe site and thought is was HIGH-larious! It reminds me of my grandmother (the one who taught me how to cook) who always said: "Any food scraped out of a dish/bowl with your first two fingers doesn't count"...My mom said she could scrape about a fist full of food with those two fingers!
TTFN
The Dish Diva blog is going to tell the world about my cookbook! And my adventures in marketing, public relations and self discovery. At least an account as I humble myself along the way
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
FunkyTown is now without a Mayor!
The Mayor of Funkytown has resigned~I do not know what has been going on with me the past few weeks, but today it's O-fficial--I was so funked I didn't feel like baking cookies to sell at the Holy Cross Bazaar yesterday. And I will do almost anything for a buck ! :))
The bazaar was a great success~they had some competition from the Magdalen holiday market, but for only their second year in existence, it seemed to be well received. I sold lots of cookbooks and saw some people I haven't seen for years. The vendors at these markets are always sooo nice and helpful...
I am making Chicken Chili for dinner tonight--let's hope it gets cold enough to eat it--we may have to go outside to get "chilly"!
This week I am going on a marketing spree for The Diva. I tried to get a couple of store in Buhler to carry it-Adrian's said she would, but her cookbook is coming out this fall and.....I totally understand. Then I went into a salon/gift shop that was cute and funky, but they said they weren't interested...Bah Humbug....but this will not get me down. Even if no other cities than Wichita and Winfield carry my book, I have conquered my biggest fear: Approaching strangers and trying to sell them something. Joke 'em if they can't take a _ _ _ _ (you fill in the lines)
Speaking of Buhler, my new bff Tara (a/k/a Louise--or Thelma depending on the day) and I went to this thriving metropolis on Friday and had a blast!! We ate at Lavonns and I'm telling you it was the best lunch I've had in a long time~veronikas with ham gravy (yummy!) , sausage (yummy!) ,bierock (yummy!) , party potatoes (yummy!) and 3...YES 3 kinds of pie (chocolate cream, coconut cream and berry) YUM YUM and YUM
I had to bring 3/4 of it home but it was divine!!! And as soon as we entered the restaurant, the cook started giving us attitude--it just added more spice to the meal. :) They were very gracious hosts and were delightful to talk to.
For the rest of the day we drove around Doodah looking for fabulous estate sales (there were none) and belting out disco tunes from Syrius radio. I said I would NEVER pay for radio, but Friday almost changed my mind. The tunes were amazing~
I'm off to tend the chili....oh how I love fall
TTFN
The bazaar was a great success~they had some competition from the Magdalen holiday market, but for only their second year in existence, it seemed to be well received. I sold lots of cookbooks and saw some people I haven't seen for years. The vendors at these markets are always sooo nice and helpful...
I am making Chicken Chili for dinner tonight--let's hope it gets cold enough to eat it--we may have to go outside to get "chilly"!
This week I am going on a marketing spree for The Diva. I tried to get a couple of store in Buhler to carry it-Adrian's said she would, but her cookbook is coming out this fall and.....I totally understand. Then I went into a salon/gift shop that was cute and funky, but they said they weren't interested...Bah Humbug....but this will not get me down. Even if no other cities than Wichita and Winfield carry my book, I have conquered my biggest fear: Approaching strangers and trying to sell them something. Joke 'em if they can't take a _ _ _ _ (you fill in the lines)
Speaking of Buhler, my new bff Tara (a/k/a Louise--or Thelma depending on the day) and I went to this thriving metropolis on Friday and had a blast!! We ate at Lavonns and I'm telling you it was the best lunch I've had in a long time~veronikas with ham gravy (yummy!) , sausage (yummy!) ,bierock (yummy!) , party potatoes (yummy!) and 3...YES 3 kinds of pie (chocolate cream, coconut cream and berry) YUM YUM and YUM
I had to bring 3/4 of it home but it was divine!!! And as soon as we entered the restaurant, the cook started giving us attitude--it just added more spice to the meal. :) They were very gracious hosts and were delightful to talk to.
For the rest of the day we drove around Doodah looking for fabulous estate sales (there were none) and belting out disco tunes from Syrius radio. I said I would NEVER pay for radio, but Friday almost changed my mind. The tunes were amazing~
I'm off to tend the chili....oh how I love fall
TTFN
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